John, once asked me ‘Why don’t I blog since I am in overseas and while he and the rest of my friends is in Malaysia and also to my cousins who are around the world. My answer to him was ‘ I do not want people to know about what I did and else’ But I guess I was wrong. My cousin has a blog and I went to read it as I found it interesting but I was asking her ‘ What made you write a blog’ and her answer was ‘ It helps to clear and organize my though’. It is because of her statement I decided to write a blog.
To those of you who do not know me well. I am at times very analytical, think way too . . much , long term planner and etc. Every since I started my blog, my focus, thinking is much more clearer. At times when I am alone walking, thoughts just appear in my mind. I ponder on it and reason why ? I believe that thoughts appear in my mind for a reason. Some of my friends, they carry a book of ideas wherever they go. Ideas is something spontaneous for there might just be worth as there is no harm being done. At times, I may write thoughts, my life in Sydney or also frustration with myself, friends, lifestyle and etc.
I feel that writting helps shuffle my life in a right order. If I do not pen down what I am thinking, feeling, it feels that my though and brain are in a mess. I cannot tolerate mess regardless my room, house, belonging and the worse is my thoughts. If I cannot control and organize my though, I would not want to know what the day holds for me. I am not a perfectionist now but I do not wish to die as a perfectionist either. Mess is not my conviction rather can I make it my preference. I am fussy when it comes to neat, organize, I guess it was never God’s intention to be messy.
When I was small, I always ignore things that I drop because I was too lazy to pick it up. I would not pick up hangers, stationaries, cutleries unless I need it. At times I would not pick up the coins which I drop. Because my dad cannot tolerate my irresponsibility towards things, he told me a story. Money is to bless us with items but if you just ignore money regardless it is 1c, it is not doing to do you any good and it might just leave you without knowing it. It is pious to say that I am not going to pick cents but $ 10 or more. There was an incident that I could relate to this story. There was one Christmas when my mum and I was shopping and looking for Christmas ornaments and as I was walking I saw 1 RM 50. It could not be real or maybe I was thinking did Christmas came early for me. As I walked towards the Christmas tree, I saw 3 more RM 50 note. Therefore in total I collected RM 200. I told my mum and she could not believe it. I went back home feeling so happy but I realize I must honor small things and that would lead me to be responsible to bigger things. Ever since then, I pick up and pay attention to small things.
Therefore writting my thoughts down seems peculiar but it teachers me to honor them and shape my mind. Small matters, matters to me. Does it matters to you ?
