Books are forever Alive

I find myself very different to to other girls (female). I am not the sort that shops for clothes, shoes, bags, and all the normal item that girls shop. I think I am sort of the Tom Boy but a twisted version. it also depends on what kind of shopping I am doing. I did morning shift and after 4 hours of work, I went to Kinokuniya. I am not a fan of Kinokuniya but I ended up browsing books on each isle. I started with browsing and then I went to the concierge for a paper. I browse each isle once more and I wrote the books that I want to read and purchase. I noticed that my interest in books are on literature (including non – fiction & fiction). Half way browsing and writing title, I would like to live in a bookstore or a library. It would bring me joy to wake up each morning knowing there is a great piece of writing to kill time and there is a deep book to drown me to sleep. How wonderful is that. When everyone else hit the beaches, parks, shopping, bar, party, clubbing and etc, I read or browse. I can stay in my room all day or in a bookstore just reading and browsing. All I need to a comfortable chair. I want to see my house full with books, books and books together with a with a ladder. It reminds me of those English Castle in the 18th Century. I like Fashion but I Love Books. I can compromise of fashion but never on books. I can never compromise a good book. Good books are printed over and over again and revised. How many clothes are printed over and over again or edited frequently. Maybe “The Little Black Dress ” is one of those classic then has been updated to give a twisted look to go through the years without having the out dated look. These are some of the books that I would like to get. (Not in a rush) but will one day. The Complete works of Emily Bronte, Charles Dickens, The 3 musketeers, The Complete works of F.Scott Fitzgerald, Memoirs of a Geisha, A Brideshead Revisited, Victor Hugo, Love in the time of Cholera, Thomas Moore – Utopia, Ayn Rand – Aflas Shrugged, The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde, The poems of Dylan Thomas, The Poetry of Pablo Neruda, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickerson, The Complete Poems of Robert Frost, Poems of Leonard Cohen, The Biography of Barrack Obama, Unforgettable journey to take before you die, Lonely planet – 100 cities of the World, A year of Festival, A year of adventure, Love our way, Biography of Nelson Mendela, Gandhi, The Kennedy Brothers. I spent 3.5 hours in Kinokuniya. I have only covered Literature. There a still much that has yet to be discovered.

Greetings to myself

Hie Eastlyn, How are you. Well, luckily you asked how am I ? The truth to be told is that I am very tired, lethargic, all energy consumed, burned out and physically drained. I have no energy at all. I am tired everywhere. I am tired of listening, tired of talking, tired of asking and tired of doing things. I worked straight 9 days with only day off tomorrow and it goes on till Sunday. But somehow I can still stay calm writing this. Here I am thinking, 2009 has just been  27 days and I am already tired, how am I going to face Dec, I am on my way to become a lady and I feel this way. What happens if I turn to a woman. I will be losing my soul. I have ride this life 1/4 of a century and I am already complaining. What about my great – grandmother who is like 94 years old ? Who am I to complain about life. Here I am fidgeting my iTunes wanting to listen to something. Usually I will be listening to Michael Buble, Air, Coldplay, Keane, Radioehad and others but tonight, everything that I usually hear is wrong. I click to Canon in D and I skip it. I tune to Air and changed it to Michael Buble followed by Coldplay and its still not to my listening pleasure. I close my iTunes application and silence was what  I wanted. Here I am looking at my room how simple but yet inviting. Even my table is welcoming. A black table lighted with a warm orange grey table lamp with my cup and stationary holder with my gorgeous iMac. I don’t put much things or decorative items in my room as I believe the more space is created, imagination is on its way. I am very happy to have my own room after a crazy day at work or class. My room (or future my house) is my heaven on this place call Earth. I can’t imagine myself coming back to a house with 5 or more people in the house and 2 person in the room where I sleep. I will go psycho. Even if I am married and with kids. I will have one room called My room and its where I relax and unwind, be with myself, pen down my thoughts, read, find my inner self, at tranquility and etc and limited people will have the access to it. From here, you would know that I am not a clubbing and socializing person. Virginia Woolf once said this “All I could do was to offer you an opinion upon one minor point—a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of woman and the true nature of fiction unsolved. My eyes are tired, here I am thinking of one hidden track from Coldplay’s Viva la Vida ” Fall Asleep, Fall Asleep, Sleep to Satisfy, Sleep to Satify.

After a hard day at work

After endless time hearing the blender blending Frapuccino’s, the Verismo Machine hissing sound of steaming milk, sound of money cashing into the cash register, the oven making the beep sound, the timer for buzzing time, and etc. (the sound that creates Starbucks Ambience), I come back changing into an introvert person. I don’t talk to my housemates. I mean seriously after saying continuos Latte, Crushed Ice or Ice Cubes, Whipped Cream, Room for Milk, and etc, I need to sit down chill listen to silence, give attention and analyze to my thoughts on work, home, lifestyle, family and etc. Sometimes, when I totally need silence, I even turn my phone off, no msn or facebook chatting. I need my silence. Each night, I listen to Coldplay, Michael Buble, AIR, Nujabes, Radiohead, Sarah McLachan, Josh Groban and John Mayer to relax and calm me down. At times, I listen to Miles Davis and Thelonious Monk. Even though, they are blues and jazz, I get stress when I listen to it. Why because these are featured artist which are being played in my store disc player over and over again. My routine when I reach home is to  iTunes playing one of those artist , off to shower, apply lotion, sitting on my mac checking email, reading news and online chatting, then off to my bed swapping computer to my Toshiba continue with pc stuff and I end the night with my devotion and listen to iPod to drown me to sleep. 

Today, I don’t want to the night to fade away fast. I truly enjoy the day even though working. I find pleasure in my job. Even changing the bin is a pleasure. I finally got my AIR Cd. I now have 3 albums ‘ Premier Symptomes, Pocket Symphony and Talkie Walkie’. When people are busy attending to their wants and needs of shopping, I went back home, changed and got comfy placing pocket symphony cd into my iMac drive, lit the candle and relax. I felt my whole tension running from my brain by passing to my feet as I lie on the floor. I felt so calm. I could meditate or fall into a deep sleep. I got up and lie my back on the wall and let my thoughts run free in my room while watching the sky turn dark. I realize that I appreciate nature more than anything. More than Fashion. I never understand Fashion. I think fashion is over – rated. As I look how darkenss fall with AIR playing (Night Sight) on the background, I suddenly think why some people just fail to appreciate nature and can’t relax or take a pause to see the best of nature. Then, I said to myself this ” Eastlyn, not many people are unique like you “, You are unique as your name. I went to the kitchen to do a hot green tea. While holding my cup, I realize, it would be perfect if it was Autumn or Winter to how I was feeling at that very moment. While sipping I felt , I was living Life. Life is beyond Love, Career, Family, Wealth, Health, Success and etc but its when you can sit down feeling relax, calm, and at tranquility and think of what you have done, appreciate yourself, nature, listen to your inner voice, loving and knowing yourself and etc. I think the reason why I am happy with myself is because I am honest to myself, my family, my friends and to anyone. Happiness begins when you are honest. I love myself despite of whatever I am not happy or success that I have yet to achieved. I appreciate myself to what I have been given. As I grow older to be wiser, I don’t take things for granted. I don’t take friendship for granted. I am not the person who leaches around with friends because of status or money. To me friends are not about status, wealth but about individuals strengthening each other weaknesses. I understand what responsibility is. It is when I can be trusted for small things, I am then appointed to bigger things. I pay attention to my thoughts than my feelings or impulse because my thoughts shapes my thinking perspective to which leads me to a wisdom life. It gives me discerning to know what is right and wrong. I observe an individual because by observing, you train you eye to see beyond the natural to something extraordinary. Sometimes, I find myself as an intriguing, articulating, intellectually stimulating individual. Sometimes, I am my own enigma.

If a person is confident enough in the way they feel, whether it’s an art form or whether it’s just in life, it comes off – you don’t need anything to prove; you can just be what you are – Clint Eastwood

To thine own self be true – Shakespeare

Thoughts

The thing I do when I wake up before I do anything else or even brush my teeth is read. I read 2 things when I wake up. My Bible and Wisdom book. There is this thing that captivates my mind and thoughts and I always read back. Each gives me different insights every time, I read it. 

” Travel means people: friends, touching, sensing. It’s not about just seeing. It’s the experience of Life. And the one thing you do understand about it is that in the ordinary world, generosity overpowers greed. People are, by theirs natures wonderfully generous. And that comes back to what wisdom thing we talked about earlier: be nice, be kind, be joyous because everybody else will be. You wake up in the morning and you say ” How did I screw up yesterday, and what I can do today that may be a little bit better ? We are our own paradigm, and if someone asked me to name one word other than generosity that is a part of a necessity to survive, it’s persistence. Never, never give up. Life is about climbing a cliff, not about running a race. It’s about climbing a steep cliff, and you are hanging on with your fingernails all the way up and your hear noise – these are people who have fallen off the cliff. He who hangs on the longest win ! it’s not about breaking the tape, it’s about hanging in and persisting with your own principle and your resolve and your ambition. Most of us give up too easily. Failure is an absolutely essential in life. If we never fail, How could we possibly succeed ? We can only extend ourselves to the limit of what we know. Failure teaches what we don’t know. It’s essential to fail. You dare your genius to walk the wildest, unknown way. Of course, you are going to fall down. But it’s your way and when you get to the end, you’ll know something. You cannot oppress an individual, you can only oppress a  society. The is no fear. There is only consequences – Bryce Courtenay

Astro

Oh Astro. How I miss you. If only I can see everything via its website. Astro is way better than Australia’s Fox Tel. I miss sitting at home late night in front of the TV watching all my favourite channels. CH 311 (Wah Lah Toi), CH 714( Channel V), CH 707 (Discovery Travel & Adventure), CH812 (ESPN), CH 413 (Star Movies), CH 813 (Star Sports), CH 711 (Star World), CH 713 (MTV) CH 412 (Cinemax) and any other channel in Astro.Wah Lah Toi is always Da Favourite with Hong Kong shows. I don’t any Malaysian who is in Sydney that does not miss Astro.

Dreams

Dream. A long pause that woke me up this morning. Because I did not sleep on Saturday, I hope to have some decent sleep without the need of waking up. Rather not, I dreamt that I was pregnant. I rush to the bathroom and I nauseated. During the next day, I went to the doctor to check and he confirm that I am pregnant but did not confirm the stage of the pregnancy. I called my mum and told her I don’t know whether to classify it is a bad or good news. She replied ” Hello, I was mum , It’s me. I have something to say and it is a big thing which I think mum is going to blow your top and my top on the same time. My mum guess. All her guesses were wrong. We both gave up hope and I told her. I am pregnant. My mum’s replied was that’s not really a big things. I was like Phew. ! Are you sure mum ? And I woke up from my dream to morning light reality. I was numb. I could not move. I started thinking what happen if I was pregnant. I was, it isn’t such a thing. I went to my Mac and google on dreams with pregnancy. 

It said that I am about to gain something new in life. You desire to change your life for better. It also mean that someone might die. Having a new opportunity that comes to your way.symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Whatever it is, I will embrace it. Maybe it is just a dream.

To Lah or not to Lah

This morning, I added the group in my facebook ” If you are a Malaysian, say Lah “. I was laughing to all the post and comments, Living overseas, most people know Malaysia because of it’s Lah, Eh, Wey, One and etc other than sumptuous food and delicacies. As working, I have customers who visited and stay Malaysia for long and they get used to the Lah. I think we should use continue saying lah because it’s going to something Malaysia is well known. I have Thai, Singaporean and Indonesian saying Lah . .

Eh. Where are you from ah ?

Me ? Malaysia lah.  =p)