Category Archives: Life in Sydney

Sitting on my chair looking, holding my notes thinking that I was reading to prepare for tomorrow’s exam got me thinking that I am in an Auto-Pilot mode. I have been like this for nearly 2 hours. I am physically awake but my brain is hibernating despite I was working. I hate the weather now whereby you don’t feel like doing anything but sleeping. Even if, the hours of sleeping is enough to last the whole day, the 8 hours is still not enough.

Here, I am at home sitting in silence. Oh, I love silence. It makes me audit, think, reflect and ponder on thoughts, life and anything. I really like the ambience now with Coldplay playing See you soon  as the background. My aunt and my cousin is out for church and I came back from church. I am glad that I am at home early. I went to bed at 3 am and I woke up 7.45 am. I am a morning person. I don’t have problems waking up in the morning if I had less than 8 hours but I find it extremely difficult to wake up if I had 9 or more hours of sleep. The silence of the house and limited lights passing though the house keeps me still. I ponder upon the message of church this morning. A couple of weeks ago, I had to make a decision. I  did not want to do because both of them are not something that I wanted. I placed the other decision slightly higher than the decision that I did. I was in the situation of God, Parents and myself and my life. It took me such a long time and tired crying because I did not want to honor my parents. I did not want to follow their decision because I wanted to do my own life and choose which one makes me happy. Never the less, there was a night when I was doing devotion with my aunt and cousin and I felt the peace of God rested upon me. God did not tell me what to do and God gave us wisdom to make our decision easier. Before the devotion, I told my parents that I would not take their decision. (The decision that I had to make was Friends or Family). When I said No to my parents. I felt bitter within me and I know that was not right. On the night of the devotion, I told my parents that my decision is the same with papa and mummy’s decision. I do not know what was doing but I just know I had too. Ever since that, I found my smile. Before the decision was made, I was sad, neutral, happy but not deep. It was just temporary. Today sitting down is church listening to the sermon was hard as the temperature was cold. The pastor shared a life experience that was related to mine. At the end she concluded this, this mother’s day, I would like to thank God because I clearly remember that it was a Saturday and I was 21 who wanted to go to party but I felt God saying to me to sit at home to watch television with my mum. She said ” I hesitate, but I did it and all blessing came”. She ended her message by ” This Mother’s day, Honor your parents. I was sitting down there knowing that I did the right decision even though I was reluctant at the first time and I am having the blessing now. Now, I understand that God’s promises is never void when it comes to honoring parents. Donna Crouch’s sermon was titled bitter to better. To make it better remove the I from b’I'tter. 

Mummy, this verse is for you

Proverbs 31:26-31 - “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

To my Father and Mother

Exodus 20:12 - Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Proverbs 1:8 - Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

After two weeks holidays, moving in and out. I would really like to sleep in instead of sitting in bed with doing my assingment but listening to some deep thoughts music. If only it was a cold winter monday, I would love to be lying in bed listening to Coldplay, Damien Rice, Lifehouse, Lisa Hanningan, Sarah McLachan, Angus and Julia Stones and etc or maybe reading. Perhaps even holding and sipping a Hot mug of Green Tea. At 12 noon, I will be preparing to go to class. Unfortunately. Sigh !

Yesterday. Oh don’t even mention it. I started work at 6.30 am. I woke up at 5.45 am. I finish work at 1 pm. At 2 pm – 3.30 pm, I had office meeting. At 4.15 pm, I went to Railway Square to settle some stuff. 6 pm, I rush to Broadway for my friend’s birthday. I came back home at 10.30 pm. I went to bed at 11.45 pm. All in all, I went out for 18 hours. And now, it is the next day and I still need Sleep. Z.z.z.z.

Having to move twice within a month is killing me. Physical and Mentally. Having no internet at home is the worse state of mind when I am at home. Internet is not everything to me. But when there are assignments to complete, internet at home is a necessity. With no assignment, I don’t really care about Internet because I occupy my time by reading. My one month without Internet takes my energy to the toll. Always going to the internet cafe researching and etc. Finally, I am at home using the internet. The only bad thing is that I am having headache and I start work at 6.30 am and I have 2 assignment to hand in on Monday. That’s not very good after all.

I am glad that Autumn finally know it is time. I am happy. Autumn and Winter is my favourite season. The slight chill and cloudy weather. Thats soothing for me. Perfect to sleep. Sit down thinking in deep thoughts while holding a glass of hot Green Tea is what I like to embrace the cold season. My wardrobe is starting to change. I packed the spring/summer clothes and hang Autumn/Winter clothes. Here I am wondering how cold will this winter be ?

We all wish if we were children of celebrities with houses from the east to the west where by moving is just easy and done in 2 steps. Calling the removals and paying it. Then, it isn’t going to be a big deal. Well this week is a Streesed Week. Moving out and moving in, date line’s of assignments, working, planning, organizing and packing. To be frank, I hate moving here and there. I had moved to a big – medium and now a unit in an apartment back in Malaysia. I miss my garden where there is no garden now. My breakfast and tea at the garden. So here I go. In between of all this chaos and stressfull week, I long for some time on my own and soul. It’s difficult. My days during this week are Class – Work – Pack – Sleep = Tired, Exhausted and Lethargic. Coming back home daily at 10.30 pm with the repeatedly routine.   I have to hand in an assignment this Monday ( 3oth March) but somehow my lecturer said we can hand in after the holidays. By her saying that is a total relieve to ear, mental and physical. Monday is where my furniture will be removed from the present unit to my new unit. Once more unpacking. Then on Tuesday and Wednesday I have a full 8.30 am – 5 pm class. Thursday – Sunday is work. I hope I can find time to sit, relax, unwind in my new home and to Ikea. I so looking forward to next weekend but may be not internet as just yet !  =) & =(

Sometimes, I think Coldplay is God -Sent. I mean seriously. The are my favourite band. The first song that grip my heart was Yellow and I still listen to all the songs. One song, I can listen in particular is ‘The Scientist’. I never get bored. Out from all of their songs from their album, I have a favourite line for each song. I decided to write them down on a notebook and see how it fits into a note. Here it goes . .

” Nobody said it was easy, it’s such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard…Oh take me back to the start.

” All you wanted was love but you never looked hard enough, it’s not going to give itself up therefore for you, I bleed myself dry. I looked into your direction but you pay me no attention because you never look hard enough. You don’t know how lovely you are. You’re the one that I wanted to find. I’ve been trying to reach you because I don’t know what to do. There must be something more. I want to love you but I don’t know if I can. It’s you  I see but you don’t see me and it’s you I can hear so loud and clear. You and me are floating on a tidal wave. So I twist and turn. Here I am in love in a bubble. Can anybody stop this before my head explodes? Everyone I know says I’m a fool to mess with you. Tell me you love me. Tell me your secret and ask me a question. Look at the stars how they shine for you and everything that you do. In a haze, a stormy haze I’ll be around. I’ll be loving you always. The truth is I miss you. You don’t have to be on your own. I know you don’t listen to me because you see straight through me. I am the puzzle, you are the missing piece. You cut me down a tree and brought it back to me. If you love me, why you let me go. My heart is your heart. It’s you that I hold on to. That’s what I do. And I know I was wrong. But I won’t let you down. Confidence in you is confidence in me. All the movement you’re starting to make gives me a rush of blood to the head.

And I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wrong. And I, well if ever caused you trouble. Oh, No, I never meant to do your harm. Oh, Let’s go back to the stars.

Lets be honest. How many of us are sick and tired of our job. Be it anything. Office or retail. If we are in the office, we are to meet clients or customers which sometimes can be nasty and picky. It’s the same thing for retail. The bottom line is regardless of whatever job we are in, we are customers at one point and we are picky and nasty at times. I am picky when I am shopping. I have been thinking of quiting my job many many times. I don’t think of it each night but there are some days whereby I will think of it. I like my job and the company but sometimes politics can kill the whole working environment. Each day we get resumes wanting to join the company and I on the other hand wants to quit. Sometimes, I think I am a lunatic. Wednesday was my day off. I slept late on a Tuesday night. I have been tellling some of my workmates that I want to quit and they were like ” Why”. They persuaded me not to as they enjoy working with me just as how I enjoy  working with them. To my regular customers, I asked them to sign my tmbler. Some asked why. I said ” Next time, when I leave the company, I will remember these signature of my regulars who I dearly appreciate “. Some of their reply really melt me inside when they said ” What are we going to do, where are we going to get our beverage now”. I looked at those signature and I really appreciate them. I was talking to a friend on Tuesday night telling that I want to quit my job. While talking. we were sharing our experience of each coffee house of the company that he and I went. We had different experiences as he went as a customer and I went as a person working for the company but different store. He said this statement that changed my early Wednesday morning at 2 am plus in the morning on my day off that gave me a new perspective ‘ You belong to the barista who love thier job but not everyone enjoys it like you’. I said Thank You to him. I went on with my day off relaxing and going out. Today, I went to work feeling much better and energize. Of course after a day off. Half way working we had to pre-close and sanitize. Most people does not like to pre-close and sanitize because it dries your hand out but pre-closing and sanitizing is my hobby out of my job scope. Here I am thinking of his statement. I enjoy and love my job. Enjoying the glamarous part of making coffee and also the cleaning part of moping, bin run and sanitizing. Above all I love the A to Z of my job. Half way pre-closing today. I was like ” I am really hardworking today finding things to sanitize when all has been sanitize and one of my working partner said thats because you had a day off.  I was agreeing to what she said but also because I was encourage to carry on with my job. Aristotle said ” Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work”. That is my Raison d’ etre

I was sitting on my chair looking at my iMac desktop, I remember the song ” A New York state of Mind “. If you love jazz and blues, you shoud know. I feel so relax after listening to Billy Joel’s – NY State of Mind. Though I am in Sydney and Born in Malaysia, I am neither in Sydney nor Kuala Lumpur state of mind. I am in my room state of mind. Honestly, I am now on my earphones listening to New York Stete of Mind with my legs swinging to the corner of my table sitting down and relaxing to the night. I am at tranqulity and calm.