Unforgettable

I believe Nat King Cole penned the song “Unforgettable” for lovers. Like a song of love that clings to me .. that’s why, darling, its incredible. Many people are unforgettable to me but the most 2 that are truly unforgettable for the amazing things they had done and will do for me will always be my unforgettable mum and dad.

21.03.09

I can’t find a title for my post today. I woke up as I had enough of sleep. 10 hours of deep sleep. I did my usual morning things to get my day right. Internet-Journal and Reading.I am off to read Wild at Heart. Halfway reading, there was a chapter about fathers. Once more, tears came  rolling down. I wrote something in my journal yesterday regarding about my father ‘ I long to ask how is my dad’s eye, can he sleep, don’t be worried about me. I want to ask how is my dad’s work. Now if I hear his voice over the phone. I don’t know how to start when I have things to ask. What made me think about my father was a chapter called ‘ Wound’. I paused and think how much I wounded my father’s heart. Yes he did wounded my heart but its not badly wounded like his heart. While reading the chapter, some people shared good and bad memories about their fathers. I put the book on hold trying hard to think of memories. I can only re-collect memories from our last holiday trip to China and Hong Kong. I can remember the memories when I was in my younger age. What happen to the memories when I was 8 or 9 years old. Where has it been too ?  Who burned it ? Who scattered and littered it away ? Who crumpled it away ? I asked myself. 

Principle’s extracted from Wild at Heart

The plan from the beginning of time was that his father would lay the foundations for a young boy’s heart and pass on to him that essential knowledge and confidence in his strength. Fathers would be the first man in his life and forever the most important man. My father taught me how to fish. We would spend long days together out in a boat on a lake, trying to catch fish. I will never ever forget his delight in me when I’d hook one. But the fish were never the most important thing. It was the delight, the contact, the masculine presence gladly bestowing itself on me. Fathers and son in the most tribal cultures live in an amused tolerance of each other. The son has a lot to learn and so the father and son spend hours trying and failing together to make arrowheads and etc. When a father and son spend long hours together, which some fathers and sons still do, we could sat that a substance almost like a food passes from the older body to the younger. If strangers and strange sights can shake the world of children, it takes the people they know and love best to pull it out from under them like a chair. 

I paused on my reading and think. My father will be the most important man in my life. I see the significance of it but somehow I fail to act. 

In a foreign country, I try to remember the memories of myself and my father. I managed only 2 years ago memories. Here I am trying to re-collect memories of my mother and me. I can’t too. I can’t remember the memories we had as the 3 of us. What happen ? Where is my childhood memories with my father, my mother and my family. I remember most my childhood memories with my cousins, memories as my friends and memories with my late and still present maternal paternal grandparents. I now see how bitter resentment can kill my childhood memories. I here say Thank You to whoever that invented camera. I can only see my memories with this images snapped by the camera. 

My father used to have the radiance on his face, the bright smile to change my face reaction. He used to to look younger than his actual age was. He used to have a shiny jet black hair to which now has white hair. He had least wrinkle and facial expressions line, He used to have a good sense of humor. Now I wonder where has all his glow went ? The answer lies in me. 10 days has passed after my father’s birthday. I wish to see his glow, radiance, humor shine once more. Here I am tearing once more. Happy Birthday Papa ! 

Love, 

Eastlyn Wee

Honoured

I feel really honoured and privelledge to know these 2 friends of mine. She is my best friend and he is my closest guy friend. The 3 of us were just ordinary friends and now 2 of them are a couple and me still the same. I am on my way writing a memoir of them. A memoir when the 3 of us were just friends, how the 2 of us became best friends, how 2 of them became lovers and now. Currently their memoir now has 1174 words. I did it because I love writing, they belong happily together and because I am part for them. I witnessed how the union became to what it is today.

Coldplay

Sometimes, I think Coldplay is God -Sent. I mean seriously. The are my favourite band. The first song that grip my heart was Yellow and I still listen to all the songs. One song, I can listen in particular is ‘The Scientist’. I never get bored. Out from all of their songs from their album, I have a favourite line for each song. I decided to write them down on a notebook and see how it fits into a note. Here it goes . .

” Nobody said it was easy, it’s such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard…Oh take me back to the start.

” All you wanted was love but you never looked hard enough, it’s not going to give itself up therefore for you, I bleed myself dry. I looked into your direction but you pay me no attention because you never look hard enough. You don’t know how lovely you are. You’re the one that I wanted to find. I’ve been trying to reach you because I don’t know what to do. There must be something more. I want to love you but I don’t know if I can. It’s you  I see but you don’t see me and it’s you I can hear so loud and clear. You and me are floating on a tidal wave. So I twist and turn. Here I am in love in a bubble. Can anybody stop this before my head explodes? Everyone I know says I’m a fool to mess with you. Tell me you love me. Tell me your secret and ask me a question. Look at the stars how they shine for you and everything that you do. In a haze, a stormy haze I’ll be around. I’ll be loving you always. The truth is I miss you. You don’t have to be on your own. I know you don’t listen to me because you see straight through me. I am the puzzle, you are the missing piece. You cut me down a tree and brought it back to me. If you love me, why you let me go. My heart is your heart. It’s you that I hold on to. That’s what I do. And I know I was wrong. But I won’t let you down. Confidence in you is confidence in me. All the movement you’re starting to make gives me a rush of blood to the head.

And I never meant to cause you trouble. I never meant to do you wrong. And I, well if ever caused you trouble. Oh, No, I never meant to do your harm. Oh, Let’s go back to the stars.

Dreams

Dream. A long pause that woke me up this morning. Because I did not sleep on Saturday, I hope to have some decent sleep without the need of waking up. Rather not, I dreamt that I was pregnant. I rush to the bathroom and I nauseated. During the next day, I went to the doctor to check and he confirm that I am pregnant but did not confirm the stage of the pregnancy. I called my mum and told her I don’t know whether to classify it is a bad or good news. She replied ” Hello, I was mum , It’s me. I have something to say and it is a big thing which I think mum is going to blow your top and my top on the same time. My mum guess. All her guesses were wrong. We both gave up hope and I told her. I am pregnant. My mum’s replied was that’s not really a big things. I was like Phew. ! Are you sure mum ? And I woke up from my dream to morning light reality. I was numb. I could not move. I started thinking what happen if I was pregnant. I was, it isn’t such a thing. I went to my Mac and google on dreams with pregnancy. 

It said that I am about to gain something new in life. You desire to change your life for better. It also mean that someone might die. Having a new opportunity that comes to your way.symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Whatever it is, I will embrace it. Maybe it is just a dream.

The child with blue eyes.

I was serving this customer. I was alone in the store. There comes this lady with a pram and her child. She looks so cute with those blue eyes. I envy people with blue or green eyes as they look mysterious. I said, she would long to have a sibling. The mother replied ” We are hoping for a pair as they have each other to look upon and how to deal with the opposite gender. She asked me. Do you have any siblings. I said. I don’t. I am the oldest and youngest. She said Lucky you. ! I said ” Thanks”. But it was not the Thanks that I really want to say. I hope the child with the blue eyes will have a sibling. I don’t want her to face this world alone. I thought to myself if I could change. She be me and I be her. If I was, then there are millions of things that I would rectify for I dislike the state of my being right now. I doubt it, I can be the child with blue eyes.

My joy knows no end

Here, I am sitting relax after a good day at work. It was a rush morning. Was on the bar with not in my uniform and black blouse. Luckily I was in blue long sleeve blouse. I was telling Tony that I need to change before John (Store Manager) comes, and the next moment, he was beside me and I was like Oops ! Haha, nothing happen. 

I am glad that my cloudy days are over. I finally see the sunshine in my life after all the haze and etc. On the 1 September, I woke up with a strange feeling. I have a funny sense but its a happy one indeed. I do not know what, but I felt the stir in me. At noon time, I was crossing to Myer and I was laughing to myself. Then, a Bible verse came to my mind, ” I have been carrying you my child though those days when you were far from Me but I was never far from you “. With this verse, I remembered ” Footprint”.

One night, I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene, I noticed foorprints in the sand. Sometimes, there were 2 foorprints in the sand. Other times, there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat. I could only see one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, ” You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always, but I have noticed that during the most trying period of my life, there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I need you the most, you are not that in my life. ” The Lord replied, ” The times when you see one set of footprints in the sand is when I carried you. (Writen by Mary Stevenson in 1939)

My reply to God was, Yeah, that’s true. Looking back from 04.04.08 till August, I do not know how I managed to do it. Of course with God and my parents. I admit durind that season I was far from God. I hardly do my devtion and pray when I feel like. Fell into depression. But He never leave me. I thank God for those time of hardship. Suffering builds perseverance. Then after class, I was in the bus going back, I was that happy that I forgot to press my bell and walked down Martin Place. I was singing and and people were like thinking am I a Lunatic ? Maybe I am but there is just a joy in me that I know ” My joy knows no end in whatever season I am in “

Love. It inspires me.

Love is the secret place where you have regard for yourself. From there and only there can someone else wrap their arms around you and ask no more from you and offer no less. Our need to love and be in love is not only our right but it is inherent to be a human being. One of the oldest human need is to wonder where you are when you don’t come back home at night. Love requires us to love each other. Not because we have been ask but because we can. Love requires us to be honest with each other and promise first to ourselves, never to lie to each other out of the fear of being alone. Love requires us to guard each other’s solitude and the sanity of solitude in a relationship. Love requires us to remember the following in love is very different from landing and to be there to catch each other because we all fall, because we all fail, because we are all frail. We all need to be loved. Love is not contradictory but a happy marriage of contradictions. The opposite of love is not hate but is indifference. In love, is what makes the different in our lives. The path  to loving one another begins with loving ourselves. This is ground zero. None of us can wrap around the world till we are prepared to give ourselves a hug. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean, loving everything that we do, Love is a chance to play live forward. Love is a garden. As you sew, you will reap. Plant pride, reap anger. Plant humility, breed laughter. 

Daring to love, be loved is life. Most noble adventure. Working on ourselves is life’s labour. Make it a labour of love in your life.

# I decided to share this article. It was written by Noah benShea

Why date a Starbucks Barista

Why date a Starbucks Barista ?

Because we are used to the whipped cream

We make everything extra hot

We know how to keep you up in the morning

We won’t fall asleep afterwards

We know how to make anyone smile

We initiate conversations

We thank and worship you over and over, even we know you don’t deserve it

Because even if sometimes, it may last only 10 seconds, its the best damn shot you ever had

No body grinds like we do

You ALWAYS find mocha, whipped cream, caramel drizzle or some other deliciousness on our body

Give you enough cream so you won’t complain.

Because we stay fresh for an hour and only need 4 minutes to re brew

We will always give you stuff to slurp and swallow

NO MATTER how CRAZY the REQUEST, We just say YES

If we don’t give it to you like you want it, we will keep trying until you are happy

When we’re ready to give to you, we scream for you no matter how many people are in the room

If giving you want you want is too much for one of us to handle, we will to use or star skills and ask somelse to help.

We’re all cross trained to work in any position

Free pound a week

Black and khaki would look great on your morning floor

We used both hands to multitask

If you leave dissatisfied, we give it for you for free the next time

We eliminate the need for you to do it af home

* Written by a Barista. Thinking it was good to be share.

The greatest man in my life is . . .

My father. Its going to be father’s day soon. Here I am saying all the things that I want to say to the greatest man in my life. I was reading a megazine on what it is like to be a father. I send a text message to my father ” Father’s day is coming. I was reading an article about fathers. This year’s father’s day is special because I mend my relationship with my father. I am nobody’s daughter except papa and mummy’s “. I hope papa like it. I drove my dad mad like up and down the wall, left and right of the windows. Papa should sit down with a tea and think how I drove papa crazy but nevertheless papa still believe in me and guide me hand by hand despite I am in Sydney and papa is back home. I love papa. At times, my father is mean but he does it that way so I can learn to live in a society which is cruel and at times rewarding. He is loving in rewarding. My dad’s arm is as wide as the sea to bring me back to reality and life if I ever should fall. I can’t say much here, but my father knows my heart and how sincerly I mean. Father’s Day is Australia is the first Sunday of September.

My father, I can’t remember how warm the hug was when you held me for the first time. The tenderness of my unpolluted skin. I still believe the warmth on 30 Nov 1984 is the same like any hug (physical or imaginary.) Holding me tenderly when I was to take bath. Always arguing, leading to crying and finally the problem is solve over the phone. The Kacang will never lupa the kulit. So as I, I will never forget my father. I have your blood in me. Though I am in my early 20’s, papa still come to my room to hug and give me a kiss on my cheeck (that sometimes wake me up) or to put me to sleep. Papa taught me what discipline. Don’t say you hate things when you have not tried. Don’t say no money but not enough of money. Though I have failed in certain area as a daughter but I know the best is yet to come. The phrase or sentence ” The greatest man in my life will always be my father”. I am not going to change the fact that he is and will always be the greatest man in my life even though I get married because my dad is my family from the beginning but to the guy I say my vow to is a friend that I have chemisty and then part of my family.  Happy Father’s Day Papa, I love you.

Eastlyn Wee.